Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Follow @tfln