i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He told me they were just razor bumps!