found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
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We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
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Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?