I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.