it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
well most of my day revolves around power hour
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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