My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
