I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
