kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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