She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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