I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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