susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
