well I can't set my house on fire every night
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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