You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
