Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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