I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
