p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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