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  I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.

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• Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises.

  Submitted by W_T_F on Sep 20, 13 at 11:59am

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• I'm guessing you crossed your heart, hoped to fly, and stuck a cupcake in your eye.

  Submitted by jbwarner86 on Sep 20, 13 at 10:09am

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• I would be more concerned with why no one would look you in the eye. That usually means trouble.

  Submitted by MplsChk on Sep 22, 13 at 10:02pm

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• Jose Cuervo doesn't fuck around.

  Submitted by Moon_Dew on Nov 9, 17 at 2:14pm

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