let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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