please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
