I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
