dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Randomize
