IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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