its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
