Have some text gold?

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  • hahaha awesome genius

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:33pm
  • Remember, remember the fifth of november

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:44pm
  • ahaha serves them right for having kids that call others bastards

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:35pm
  • AWESOME. PARENTING WIN

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:35pm
  • Yeah, because someone can't have kids of different ages, and use their age differences as a method to distinguish between the kids.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:52pm
  • Good news! It's out of the vacuum, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be limp for a few weeks. Now my problem is how am I going to explain to my boss that we need a new shop-vac?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:38pm
  • This is from a movie . Wack

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 17, 09 at 7:56pm
  • I'll go to the ut Kansas game if this vegetable oil lubes up the vacuum enough for my dick to pull out...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:52pm
  • If I had a Nickel.. -Brandon

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 1:50am
  • Just call them a blowjob.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 10:57pm
  • 4:43, exactly what would you deem the age cutoff for this site?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:05pm
  • ...The gunpowder treason and plot

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:52pm
  • BEST parenting EVER!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 8:28pm
  • That is just quivering.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 11:30pm
  • If you were close enough with someone to text them that story, they probably know the kid by name, let alone have to explain how old the kid is. LAME.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:48pm
  • I would have gone with horsefucker but clit works

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 10:25pm
  • shut up about parenting, it was probably a dream or something

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 2:02am
  • The sad thing about the vacuum guy is he could be some really fat guy with issues and we just don't realize it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:06pm
  • "Parent of the Year" award recipient?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:39pm
  • Oh! I get it! The parents of the kids that called the 6 year old son a bastard are going to get mad at the OP because the son is going to call the kids a clit. - Zack

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:41pm
  • Your a good parent.....Not.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:31pm
  • high five to raising a classy child. ttrrraasshh ftw.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 7, 09 at 1:41pm
  • Oh! I get it! The parent told his child to call the other kids "clits" so that they ask their parents what a clit is! -Jeff -Jeff

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:43pm
  • Umm 5:54. That's really weird and unecessary.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:05pm
  • This is from salt lake, she probably got married at 18 and had the kid at 19.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 7:05pm
  • You guys do realize that there are a lot of "Jeff"s out there?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:04pm
  • This text is funny...in America.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:42pm
  • this warms my heart that it came from utah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:39pm
  • Oh, I get it! The 6year olds penis is bigger then his dads!!! -Jef

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 1:13am
  • You wanna know how I got these scars? -Joker

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:45pm
  • I have two words for you: Charles Rutherford!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 3:35am
  • Why do all these texts sound as if they're written by the same person? There's always a zinger sentence at the end. "I love Halloween." "Those parents will hate me." I declare TFLN a fraud.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:44pm
  • you have a six-year-old. you're too old to be on this website. get a life and go be a parent.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:43pm
  • 6:31You have excellent grammar... not.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:43pm
  • @4:48 maybe she was moar than 1 kid?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:52pm
  • Haha that's awesome !

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 9:45pm
  • thats because he probably is a bastard....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 7:14pm
  • I agree this text is probably a fake but not because they referred to their child as "my 6yo." It wouldn't make any sense to us, the readers who don't know this person, if their child was referenced by name. Also, I'm 22 with a 5yo. Having a 6yo doesn't make the OP old.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:34pm
  • Age has nothing to do with it beyond the kid's. Parents often refer to their kids by other than their names. Funny funny text. U guys all suck vacuum

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 7:22am
  • 8 56 you are wise. Very wise indeed.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:30pm
  • Best. Parent. Ever. That isnt a joke, id give this dude a high five.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 11:35am
  • there are a lot of better things to say than 'clit'

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 7:15pm
  • Are you a bastard? As the mailman

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 7:12pm
  • 6:38, tell them Jeff did it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:44pm
  • fake jeff, there was no 'it's funny because...' and he does not say OP.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:30pm
  • Great now old people are moving in on tfln too

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:55pm
  • i know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be F0RG0T

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:05pm
  • I'm serious, me dick is still stuck in me vacuum, Mr. Waters will be back from lunch any second, help me!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 2:19pm
  • Fuck you Jeff. In the face. FACE!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:45pm
  • i like how you avoided your kid's question... i'm guessing he IS a bas-turd.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:47pm
  • Really, a clit? Of all the things to have your kid call the other kids at school you tell them clit? I mean hell, you should have told them something like sodomizer or some other sexual conduct related thing. It be harder to brush off an action then anatomy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 8:37pm
  • wtf is this a failed fml. who the fuck would text this. sooo bad

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:37pm
  • Shoulda told him to call them a cunt.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:08pm
  • Well...my dick is definitely stuck in the vacuum now. Anyone know a way out of this?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:44pm
  • I think I might try having sex with my vacuum cleaner...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:20pm
  • Haha! Gotta love Utah, Morman kids talkin shit!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 2:50pm
  • Facefacefacefaceface I like facesssssssssssssssss

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:55pm
  • she should have told him to call the kids a cunt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 8:02pm
  • Why don't the kid say it back

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 7:25pm
  • I got box tickets for the ut Kansas game, u wanna go?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:48pm
  • who's charles rutherford???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:47pm
  • Who the hell is Jeff? Jeff Dunham??

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 10:37pm
  • If you put that vacuum on reverse you can give yourself a facial -Ned

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:23pm
  • O I get it. I get it. Jeff acts as a radical interpreter and simply states the OP back in the a form that was funny when Family Guy did it six years ago. Jeff you have the wit of the six year old in the OP. Seriously, fucking die.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:37pm
  • Charles Rutherford believes your 6 year old is the bastard son of a thousand fathers!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:47pm
  • 6:02 put the vacuum in reverse so it blows instead of sucks.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:07pm
  • this had to have been a father hahahahah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 10:27pm
  • I came in the vacuum, but now I'm stuck...and oily. And I'm pretty sure I felt something tear when I tried to yank it out.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:02pm
  • What's up Rutherford? You still working offshore?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 10:14am
  • Umm...this is a text from last night site. So one the text doesn't even need to be on here and two, way to be a bad mom

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:13pm
  • Zack your copying off Jeff......

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:12pm
  • Oh! I get it! The parents of the kids that called the 6 year old son a bastard are going to get mad at the OP because the son is going to call the kids a clit. -Jeff

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:14pm
  • Mom of the year.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 2, 10 at 10:23am
  • Jeff, where are you?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 5:06pm
  • And the winner of the parent of the year award for avoiding to announce that you're a filthy whore goes to.....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 8:56pm
  • Oh, shit. I got me dick stuck in me vacuum again. Help me out, fellas?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 10:00pm
  • You guys AALLL suck vacuums. This is real. This is FUNNY.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 7:24am
  • Hahahaha. Yo u r a smart parent. I woulda beat the Kid up

    Submitted by hewhoknows on Jul 22, 11 at 6:32pm
  • you are not fit to be a parent. Why don't you do your child a favor and turn him into an orphan

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:39pm
  • Hahahaha I just spit out my soda laughing at this!

    Submitted by bee222 on Mar 30, 11 at 12:39am
  • you are an epic parent

    Submitted by gingy36 on Nov 21, 10 at 3:07pm