I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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