vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
