i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
so much tequila, so little girl.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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