And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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