I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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