Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize