i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
