I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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