Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think I died a long time ago.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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