shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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