Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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