so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
