I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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