i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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