her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
