I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize