have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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