I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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