i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
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I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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