I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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