Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
