oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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