your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
