Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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