I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
