But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
