You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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