So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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