I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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