Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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