Sponge bath it is.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
