I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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