K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize