how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
