he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
