he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize