I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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