Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
