my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
