I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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