Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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