the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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